Photo: Lea on Flickr

I have a confession to make: I just ate Mini-Man’s half-eaten pizza for dinner. In fact, I have subsisted for days at a time on nothing but kid-leftovers. It’s true.

I hate food.

There was a time I loved food – as evidenced by my not-so-svelte waistline – but those days are long gone. Now, food is a necessary inconvenience. With a 4 year old and a 7 month old, I feel like all I ever do is nurse, prepare food, feed someone and clean up afterwards. The other day I sat down to eat for the first time at 6:30pm and that was while the small one was crying from his bed. Not exactly my idea of an enjoyable meal.

I suppose they don’t make feed bags for children huh?

My normal day looks like this:

  • 5:30am – Sit kid #1 down in front of the TV with a yogurt (yeah, I’ll do a whole post on TV use another day) and make coffee for me
  • 6:00am – Nurse kid #2
  • 6:30am – Prepare breakfast for kid #1
    *after this is the time I may – or may not – fit in a shower*
  • 7:30am – Prepare solid food meal for kid #2 and feed it to him
  • 8:00am – Nurse kid #2 and put him down for a nap while I clean up from his meal
  • 9:00am – We go out… if we’re not out of the house by 9am I don’t get anything accomplished
  • 11:00am – Back home again; nurse kid #2 and put him down for his main nap
  • 11:30am – Prepare lunch for kid #1 & shovel something into my own mouth
  • 12:00pm – Convince kid #1 to take a nap then clean up from his lunch
    *when both are asleep I may get a nap or I may clean up random coloured debris strewn across my humble abode*
  • 1:30pm – Nurse kid #2
  • 2:00pm – Prepare snacks for both kids and get out of the house for the afternoon
  • 4:30pm – Return home and prepare and feed solid food dinner to kid #2
  • 5:00pm – Prepare dinner for kid #1 while trying to entertain a fussy, tired kid #2
  • 5:30pm – Put kid #1 down in front of the TV with his dinner (I know – mother of the year, right?); get kid #2 ready for bed then nurse him again
  • 6:00pm – Put kid #2 to bed; he is often exhausted and over-tired at this point. Crying may ensue all around.
    *this is also when I try and shovel some more food in my own mouth – usually cold since it’s been sitting since 5:30 or earlier*
  • 6:30pm – Put kid #1 in the bath and either continue trying to console over-tired, teething kid #2 or clean up from dinner.
  • 7:00pm – Get kid #1 ready for bed
  • 7:30pm – Finish cleaning up from dinner.

Now, I have been very successful at ensuring both my kids are in bed, quiet with the lights out by 7:30pm so that I have my evenings to myself. This schedule evolved naturally out of Mini-Man’s natural inclination towards an early bedtime as an  infant. But I thank God for that quiet time in the evenings. Dave and I used to sit down to dinner together after Kai was in bed… at least up until he was old enough to benefit from eating with us. Then we had to start eating at 5:30/6:00-ish.

I think that’s when I lost my love of food.

The Proposal

I have a proposal: I would like the world’s finest medical researchers and food scientists to develop an IV or injectable substance that provides all the nutrition and energy we need to maintain optimal health. Wouldn’t it be great if we coud just plug in to a little machine… kind of like an insulin pump… and have it feeding us all day long every day? No blood sugar fluctuation, no one would be overweight or have high cholesterol… we could basically rid the world of the consequences of poor nutrition. If I never had to eat again I think it would be awesome… I think of all the extra time I’d have to enjoy life!

In the meantime, I wonder if I’ll ever enjoy a nice meal again…